When it comes to being a bridesmaids, there are very easy ways to be a great one, as well as a terrible one.
Yes, the bride has asked you to be part of her very special day, which in turn makes you *slightly* special, but the fact of the matter is that this is still the bride’s day, and you are merely there to support her.
When it comes to making sure that you are the best bridesmaid, here are five rules to live by:
1. Be There…On Time
Nothing drives a bride more insane than when she doesn’t know where her bridesmaids are. A bride has enough to worry about on her big day, and a bridesmaids being tardy for hair and makeup or MIA when picture time rolls around is not acceptable.
If the bride generously provides you with a timeline, you really have no excuse to be late for anything! If you don’t get a timeline, your best bet is just to show up at the agreed upon time and not leave unless asked to. Even if you’re bored, just being with the group will give the bride a peace of mind that everyone she needs to accounted for and will be available at the drop of a hat.
If you need to go do something, definitely check with the bride, maid-of-honor, mother of the bride or wedding coordinator first before you disappear. And always, always, always have your phone on you in case you do go missing!
2. Don’t Make It About Yourself
We get it – you spent a lot of money on your hair, makeup and dress and you want to look good for the thousands of photos you’re about to take. However, do not ask the bride if you look ok! This day isn’t about you – it’s about the bride. If you do look amazing (which I’m sure you do) the bride will let you know, but don’t go fishing for compliments.
If you need to reassure yourself that you look great, ask the other bridesmaids or text your friends back home. This day is about pampering the bride and making sure she feels amazing and special, so don’t force her into worrying about you and your up-do.
3. You Can Never Be Too Prepared
While it’s certainly not your job to be thinking about every possible situation on your friend’s wedding day, it doesn’t hurt to pack Band-Aids or have some double-sided tape on hand just in case.
If you want to go the extra mile and be the MVP bridesmaid, check online for some lists of wedding day emergency items you can have on-hand, or make your own DIY Emergency Kit to bring with you the day of.
Some great items to always have with you on a wedding day include safety pins, bleach pen, double-sided tape, gum or mints, oil blotting sheets and Band-Aids.
You’ll not only help the bride out in a pinch, but the other bridesmaids as well!
4. Go Above & Beyond
There are certain unspoken rules when it comes to being a bridesmaid: buy the dress, get your hair and makeup done, pose for thousands of corny photos, do a goofy dance with a groomsman you’ve never met and don’t get too drunk.
However, you can really make the day even better for your bride by going above and beyond those standard to-do’s and helping her truly have the best day. For example, volunteer to grab breakfast for all the girls before or get the bride her favorite Starbucks drink. If you know the bride doesn’t love her future mother-in-law, volunteer to run interference in case things get a little awkward during family portraits. Make sure to grab the bride during cocktail hour and help bustle her dress before she gets stepped on 82 times, and offer to bring her a cocktail so she can mingle with her guests.
It’s easy to think that there are plenty of people around to do these tiny jobs, but it doesn’t hurt to ask or even volunteer first! The bride will so appreciate your willingness to help and while she may not think about it in the moment, she’ll remember how so many little things got done without a fuss thanks to you.
5. Keep Calm & Bridesmaid On
It goes without saying that weddings can be stressful, and your bride will at some point during the day have a mild anxiety attack.
All you need to do is STAY CALM – under no circumstances are you allowed to freak out! No matter what is happening, the bride needs you to tell her why it’s going to be ok. Whether it’s just pre-ceremony jitters or full blown panic attack, your friend needs you to help her breathe and remember the real reason for the day.
It’s normal to let the pressure of the day get to you, but like I said before, this day is about the bride and not you. Let your own personal nerves or fears go, and solely focus on making sure your bride is having the most wonderful day ever.
Being a bridesmaid is an amazing honor. Make sure you live up to your full potential with these tips and tricks, and your bride will surely thank you later!